Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Every Vote Counts

...except these ones.

And in an Escher-like turn of events, thanking the vote counters for counting your vote may cause your vote not to be counted.

The thank-you apparently continues on the flipside of the ballot:

Please take this vote to my candidate or candidates of choice.

To my candidate:
Please accept this vote as a sign of trust. A trust that I am sure will not be abused or betrayed as you serve interests (mainly self and special) near and dear to all of us.

I know you made many promises while campaigning, promises that I am sure will be difficult to uphold. We all were a bit intoxicated, especially during the final six weeks or so. I made some promises, too. (I said I'd get a hybrid, but with gas prices like these, who am I kidding.)

Once you get to D.C., you should have an easier time. Much easier than these past few months, I would imagine. If this Obama fellow is as good as the Internet says, your term should be a cakewalk, due to an unprecedented amount of public goodwill and bipartisan backscratching.

Enjoy your stay in office. We'll see you again should you run for reelection. (Please do, as I find it troubling to stay abreast in current events and am terrible with new names. Oh, and please retain your current party affiliation since I like my voting ticket to be as straight as the day is long.)

Thanks once again for counting my vote.

John Q. Public

P.S. Perhaps in the near future, these difficult voting ballots could be streamlined. Perhaps with an all-democrat or all-republican checkbox located near the front of the ballot. Or at the sign-in desk.

I also had another small nit to pick. I went into the polls intending on voting for change but could not find that name or those words anywhere within the ballot. I did write "change" several times in all of the write-in areas and in some of the margins. I also taped some change to the backside of the ballot. Hope that sends the message. Thanks again.

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